All our celebrations happen to be smushed together in one part of the year. September is EldestGirl’s birthday, October is mine. November is YoungestGirl’s birthday, December is Christmas. TheBloke (TM) has his birthday in January, February is Valentine’s Day, then our wedding anniversary and Mothers’ Day are both in March. This year, all-gifted-out, we actually … [Read more…]
If EldestGirl has inherited anything from me, it is her winning combination of extreme, insane competitiveness around anything she’s good at – and her complete refusal to engage in competition at anything she won’t win. At school, I would have to come top in any English homework, spelling tests and so on. Sports’ Day, however, you … [Read more…]
I am fairly sure EldestGirl is going to grow up to be a hoarder. She wants to keep everything that ever passes through her sticky little hands – not just the crappy McDonald’s toy (no, of course we never go to McDonald’s) but the Happy Meal box, plus any packaging. Not only does she want to … [Read more…]
“I have the best news, EVER,” EldestGirl triumphantly announced last week. Thoughts of fast-track scholarships to boarding schools flashed briefly through my mind, followed by free ponies and a lottery win. Before remembering she was four years old. “Next week,” she continues, “it is my week to bring home Duffy Bear.” Fuck. Duffy Bear is … [Read more…]
EldestGirl had a birthday recently. She turned four years old. Whilst she is normally a polite and thoughtful child, she has not yet learned the niceties of receiving presents. In her world, anything with a My Little Pony on is an acceptable present. Any type of clothing and/or book (much though she loves being read … [Read more…]
There are certain items that every household with children possesses. Some of these, unquestionably, are valuable. Without the Jumperoo, for example, I wouldn’t be able to neglect my children effectively in front of Iggle Piggle and the Ninky Nonk. Everyone I know owns a Sophie Giraffe, and generally babies do enjoy chewing on them. All … [Read more…]