If EldestGirl has inherited anything from me, it is her winning combination of extreme, insane competitiveness around anything she’s good at – and her complete refusal to engage in competition at anything she won’t win. At school, I would have to come top in any English homework, spelling tests and so on. Sports’ Day, however, you … [Read more…]
I am fairly sure EldestGirl is going to grow up to be a hoarder. She wants to keep everything that ever passes through her sticky little hands – not just the crappy McDonald’s toy (no, of course we never go to McDonald’s) but the Happy Meal box, plus any packaging. Not only does she want to … [Read more…]
“I have the best news, EVER,” EldestGirl triumphantly announced last week. Thoughts of fast-track scholarships to boarding schools flashed briefly through my mind, followed by free ponies and a lottery win. Before remembering she was four years old. “Next week,” she continues, “it is my week to bring home Duffy Bear.” Fuck. Duffy Bear is … [Read more…]
EldestGirl had a birthday recently. She turned four years old. Whilst she is normally a polite and thoughtful child, she has not yet learned the niceties of receiving presents. In her world, anything with a My Little Pony on is an acceptable present. Any type of clothing and/or book (much though she loves being read … [Read more…]
There are certain items that every household with children possesses. Some of these, unquestionably, are valuable. Without the Jumperoo, for example, I wouldn’t be able to neglect my children effectively in front of Iggle Piggle and the Ninky Nonk. Everyone I know owns a Sophie Giraffe, and generally babies do enjoy chewing on them. All … [Read more…]