A Three-Hander Dinnertime Play by Nunn the Wiser
Characters:
EldestGirl – age 4
YoungestGirl – age 1
Mummy – age 37 Late twenties
Mummy: Dinner’s ready!
EldestGirl: (bereft) You know I don’t like raw carrots, Mummy? Why would you make them?
Mummy: Because you’re having a sandwich and I couldn’t be arsed to cook them raw carrots go better with sandwiches.
EldestGirl: How would you feel Mummy if I kept making you yucky food?
Mummy: You can eat it or not eat it, but if you don’t eat it, there’s no pudding.
YoungestGirl: Cat! Cat! Cat!
Mummy: That’s not a cat, that’s a sandwich.
YoungestGirl: Cat!
Mummy: EldestGirl, sit on your chair please.
Mummy: EldestGirl, please sit on your chair.
Mummy: EldestGirl, your bottom is not on the chair.
Mummy: EldestGirl! SIT ON YOUR CHAIR.
EldestGirl: Mummy, you shouted at me. That’s not nice, say sorry.
YoungestGirl: Cat!
Mummy: That’s not a cat, YoungestGirl, that’s a box of raisins.
YoungestGirl: Cat! Cat! Cat!
YoungestGirl throws raisins on the floor.
YoungestGirl: (satisfied) Cat!
EldestGirl: When I go to nursery, they make yummy food. I like the food at nursery, Mummy. It’s yummy. They don’t have yucky carrots like yours.
Mummy: That’s good, I’m glad you like the food at nursery.
EldestGirl: Your food is yucky.
Mummy: That’s not polite, EldestGirl.
EldestGirl: But it is the true truth. I eated it all anyway, Mummy? See? Even the yucky carrots.
Mummy: Good girl. Can you please sit on your chair?
Mummy gives EldestGirl pudding.
EldestGirl: I don’t want yoghurt, I want chocolate.
Mummy: You had chocolate for lunch. No more chocolate. Can you please sit on your chair?
EldestGirl: Yoghurt is yucky. At nursery we have yoghurt with peachy bits in. That’s yummy.
Mummy: You told me you hated yoghurt with bits in. Please sit on your chair,
EldestGirl: No I didn’t! I love it! How would you feel Mummy if I told you that you hated something you loved?
Mummy: I am regretting telling you about empathy. SIT ON YOUR CHAIR.
EldestGirl: You are very shouty today, Mummy.
YoungestGirl: Cat!
Fade to black with sound of Mummy sobbing.
