EldestGirl is not given to flights of fancy. She isn’t a child who gets lost in imaginary games, generally speaking.
I have very rarely caught her in a lie – and even then it’s usually been along the lines of, “it was an accident”, when what she actually means is, “I immediately regretted the consequences, and already resent the punishment that is undoubtedly heading my way”.
She has an astonishing memory and detail recall and is usually 100% accurate with her facts, so it was with surprise, but no suspicion on my part, that I greeted the news a few months ago that EldestGirl’s school teacher is apparently a keen skateboarder. Not just this, but she skateboards in to school, no less.
I mean, she doesn’t look like a skateboarder, but that was obviously me projecting my small-mindedness on what a skateboarder should look like. Why shouldn’t Miss X commute by skateboard if she wanted to? I caught myself throwing sneaky glances to the bicycle racks at school to see if I could spot her skateboard nestling among the children’s scooters.

We heard in more and more detail from EldestGirl how Miss X had her new skateboard delivered to school and showed it to all of the children. Feasible, I thought – particularly if you are in the sort of job where you can’t be home to take deliveries. The skateboard was apparently black and orange.
EldestGirl became keener and keener on the idea of skateboarding, going so far as to say she wants a skateboard for her approaching birthday. I put this all down to the benign skateboarding influence of the very-cool Miss X.
Today saw an open afternoon at the school, and Miss X was making conversation with the parents. We chatted a little while, and then I thought I would pick her brain on what sort of skateboard might be good for a complete beginner, if EldestGirl is still interested when her birthday rolls around.
“I hear you’re a skateboarder,” I said.
“Erm, no,” Miss X said, politely, but almost certainly thinking I was some sort of massive nutter.
“Oh, EldestGirl told me that you skateboard to work each morning,” I said, for some reason deciding to dig a bigger hole for myself.
“No I didn’t,” lied EldestGirl massively. “You must have misunderstood.”
EldestGirl and I talked about it afterwards. Well, sort of. EldestGirl refused to be drawn into conversation about it, “I DON’T WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT ANYMORE” before finally conceding it was just a silly story.
In the meantime, Miss X probably thinks I’m some sort of weirdo who starts conversations with, “DO YOU LIKE SKATEBOARDS? I LIKE SKATEBOARDS.” Oh well, nearly the end of term.