14 Comments

  1. Thanks for this Laura.. Thought provoking and really applicable to so many workplaces today. I coach so many people who have had similar experiences and who bear the scars for ages. It’s awful that people get away with such unacceptable behaviour.. truly machiavellian!

  2. What a bloody vile man. Well done for telling your story lovely. It’s horrible that you spent 18 months feeling like shite and just horrendous that someone could influence so many other people. I’m glad you got out and moved onto better people 😁

  3. Naina

    Hugs to you my friend, even though that time had passed, your description is so vivid and real. I’ve met a couple of mini-Nigels through my career. While I can’t understand why they get to share this planet with us, I struggle more to understand why others leaders put up with that behaviour. The damage caused by Nigels can take a long time to undo.

    • Thank you, Naina. I do wonder about how these Nigels view themselves. Do they know they’re bullying, or do they think they’re “managing firmly” or do they just not think at all. Part of me wants to approach Nigel and get his side of the story… but I’m not sure my self-esteem could cope with it!

      L x

  4. Matt Saunders

    Thanks so much for writing this, it sounds completely harrowing and I’m glad that you came out of the other side of it so much stronger. Sadly this type of behaviour doesn’t seem uncommon, especially in that industry. It’s totally unacceptable and unjustified; what an asshole.

    • Thank you. Honestly though, I came out of the experience far weaker, not stronger. I would like to say “and that made me the person I am today”, but genuinely it put me back in my career by two or three years as I no longer trusted my own judgement and was unwilling to push for promotion as I doubted my own ability (and no longer radiated confidence).

      Yes, right now, I am fine and happy – but I am fine and happy outside of an industry I never quite got my mojo back in.

      But I am happy. In spite of though – not because of.

      L x

  5. Ktg

    What an odious creature Nigel must have been/is. Shame these sorts of people don’t seem to get their comeuppance although we live in hope.

    Sounds like a thoroughly toxic environment.

    Well done on getting out and moving onto better things.

    • Thank you. Getting out seems to be the best option for people in this situation, which is a shame, as really it should be the bully, not the victim who has to start again.

      L x

  6. Cookie

    My Mother would have simply said “leave vengeance to God”. To me that means he simply isn’t worth worrying about and will realise the error of his ways at some stage in life. I’d say #F*CKNIGEL – let’s get together and celebrate putting him firmly in the past!

    • Yes, let’s! Tried emailing Boothie the other week but not sure if she’s too busy to reply or has “left the building” – let’s sort out a date – drop me an email.

      L x

  7. It is horrific what some people get away with in the workplace and life in general. Nigel sounds like an utter – well, a word I wouldn’t say in front of your mum.

    PS seriously consider making a dummy LinkedIn profile to stalk people for that very reason.

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