EldestGirl is not given to flights of fancy. She isn’t a child who gets lost in imaginary games, generally speaking. I have very rarely caught her in a lie – and even then it’s usually been along the lines of, “it was an accident”, when what she actually means is, “I immediately regretted the consequences, … [Read more…]
There’s a drippy meme that does the rounds this time of year. Something along the lines of “We only get eighteen delicious summers with our children. This is one of your eighteen. If that’s not perspective, I don’t know what is”. Ick, ick, vom, vom. Designed to prey on the, “Oh shit, I’m doing it … [Read more…]
All our celebrations happen to be smushed together in one part of the year. September is EldestGirl’s birthday, October is mine. November is YoungestGirl’s birthday, December is Christmas. TheBloke (TM) has his birthday in January, February is Valentine’s Day, then our wedding anniversary and Mothers’ Day are both in March. This year, all-gifted-out, we actually … [Read more…]
When the Baudelaire orphans arrive at Uncle Monty’s house, we’re unsure what to think of him. After all, this is A Series of Unfortunate Events, where we are promised that only dreadfully unpleasant things will happen to our heroines and hero. What fate awaits them in Uncle Monty’s Reptile Room? If you are in any … [Read more…]
For the last nine million years, or however long it is we’ve had children, TheBloke (TM) and I have alternated weekend lie-ins. I get a lie-in on the Saturday, TheBloke (TM) takes the Sunday. For those of you without children, “lie-in” here is a figurative concept, lasting no longer than 8.15 a.m., otherwise there will … [Read more…]
5 THINGS I WISH I HADN’T ATTEMPTED WITH MY CHILD THIS EASTER (and neither should you).
EldestGirl is basically a Jane Austen heroine trapped in the twenty-first century. She adores correspondence. She writes to everyone. Whilst she hasn’t quite progressed to embroidery, harpsichord playing and calling cards yet (please nobody tell her these are a thing), she adores writing letters. Her missives are not just confined to friends and family – … [Read more…]
In January, many people like to take stock after the excesses of Christmas, and turn over a new leaf. Dry January is all about spending the month without any alcohol at all, in the aim of being healthier, abstemious and smug. OR For us, Dry January is about finally, finally having successfully potty trained YoungestGirl (including night … [Read more…]
Well, regular readers will be delighted to know that our Christmas tree did indeed survive until Christmas Day (just), despite dropping approximately 3000 needles every half hour, along with whichever ornament it particularly wanted rid of at any given time. By Boxing Day, the dried-out old twig was clearly a fire risk, and so we … [Read more…]
I mean, I barely know where to start. When I was younger, I was never a big fan of Christmas; being indoors for several days whilst all the shops were shut and the weather was shit, and the heating was turned up too high was never my favourite time of year. Now I have my … [Read more…]